Well.
I slept.
I feel like a new person.
Okay.
I prayed, too, before I slept.
Heavenly Father calmed my troubled and storming spirit.
It feels so GOOD to feel happy, refreshed, renewed!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
A quick entry before I go to sleep.
For whatever silly reason I thought that Latter-day Saints had a monopoly on Christ like living...Hmmm.
I know. And I thought I was level headed...open minded...hmmmm. Let me rethink that.
So, living here has given me an open heart to others and is giving me new perspective.
My dear friend, Linde stopped over to deliver some German bread. I gave her asparagus and zucchini...I know, what an exchange!
But she was telling me about her family, how close they are. There is not a competition with any sibling to be right or better or anything like that. There is a genuine love and acceptance and respect for each other. She attributes these qualities as starting from her father. He seems like an amazing person. Her counsel to me is that it starts with example. One cannot expect this to happen without being the first one to love, respect and not compete.
I realize that Heavenly Father has given each of us gifts to develop in this life. We are His children and we have divine qualities that are like Him. So, Linde has oodles of amounts of love and respect for humanity. She knows that Christ loves her as she is. She accepts herself, flaws and all and believes she is a daughter of God. And she acts as such.
I think the thing that I am learning is...remember the people of Zoram...Heesh!
Well, I'd like to be as far from that as possible.
For whatever silly reason I thought that Latter-day Saints had a monopoly on Christ like living...Hmmm.
I know. And I thought I was level headed...open minded...hmmmm. Let me rethink that.
So, living here has given me an open heart to others and is giving me new perspective.
My dear friend, Linde stopped over to deliver some German bread. I gave her asparagus and zucchini...I know, what an exchange!
But she was telling me about her family, how close they are. There is not a competition with any sibling to be right or better or anything like that. There is a genuine love and acceptance and respect for each other. She attributes these qualities as starting from her father. He seems like an amazing person. Her counsel to me is that it starts with example. One cannot expect this to happen without being the first one to love, respect and not compete.
I realize that Heavenly Father has given each of us gifts to develop in this life. We are His children and we have divine qualities that are like Him. So, Linde has oodles of amounts of love and respect for humanity. She knows that Christ loves her as she is. She accepts herself, flaws and all and believes she is a daughter of God. And she acts as such.
I think the thing that I am learning is...remember the people of Zoram...Heesh!
Well, I'd like to be as far from that as possible.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
This morning, I feel weary.
I wonder, when the burden will lift.
Not that I haven't seen the Lord's hand, because I have. So much.
Perhaps, I need more time with Him today, to help me lift the load.
I think I found some help.
Going to read now.
I wonder, when the burden will lift.
Not that I haven't seen the Lord's hand, because I have. So much.
Perhaps, I need more time with Him today, to help me lift the load.
I think I found some help.
Going to read now.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sleep
So, we've had the stomach bug here for the past week and a half. It is rotating from person to person.
It has been starting at bed time...about 9 p.m. and ends about 6 a.m. and then the morning begins.
So, this morning jump started that way. Luckily I got a nap at noon. It helped stop the twitchy tremors. Those seem to come when I lack sleep and have stress build-up.
When I woke up, I felt so much better!
It is 8:20 p.m. and I am ready to call it a night.
TTFN
It has been starting at bed time...about 9 p.m. and ends about 6 a.m. and then the morning begins.
So, this morning jump started that way. Luckily I got a nap at noon. It helped stop the twitchy tremors. Those seem to come when I lack sleep and have stress build-up.
When I woke up, I felt so much better!
It is 8:20 p.m. and I am ready to call it a night.
TTFN
Saturday, March 20, 2010
A broken doorknob and prayer
We left home to run a few errands before finishing our Saturday chores.
I locked up the house good and tight and away we went.
When we came home, to our surprise, the back door, the one coming in from the garage, would not open.
We wiggled the handle. Locked and unlocked the knob. When that didn't work, my husband tried all the doors...the ones that I bolted well.
We were locked out.
My McGyver husband got out a wrench and tried prying off the handle. I had children pleading for a bathroom and hovering over the fix-it man.
I remembered and quoted Sis. Beck's counsel she had learned from her father.
"If we're going to laugh about it in 20 years, we may as well laught at it right now."
It seemed to alleviate the tension and worry and put a few smiles on faces.
After a good fifteen minutes of prying and twisting, our six year old shouted out, "Why don't we have a prayer?"
So, we all piled in the van and dad prayed while we all exerted faith.
I hopped out of the van and wiggled the handle again. Still no movement on the lock. By this time, we determined the lock was broken. As I wiggled the handle again, I remembered movies where someone would use a credit card to unlock a door.
I tried a plastic card in the door...wiggled...and whah la! It opened.
As soon as the door swung open, it was as if light had jumped into each of us. All the children shouted to say how Heavenly Father answered our prayers.
We all went inside the house, happier than we ever had before going in. Happy children. Happy parents. Our eight year old, gleaming now, so happy to be INSIDE the house, asked if we had remembered to thank Heavenly Father for all the other MIRACLES he had given us.
Listing them off, they named all the times since coming here that Heavenly Father had delivered us from sickness, car troubles, back troubles, etc. They named off one experience after another. Each of them with something different.
Husband and I looked at each other. We could SEE the Lord's hand today. The children could SEE His hand and miracles today and all the yesterday's. We thanked Heavenly Father as a family.
Faith has been strengthened yet again.
"In the strength of the Lord, we can do hard things." Sis. Elaine Dalton
I locked up the house good and tight and away we went.
When we came home, to our surprise, the back door, the one coming in from the garage, would not open.
We wiggled the handle. Locked and unlocked the knob. When that didn't work, my husband tried all the doors...the ones that I bolted well.
We were locked out.
My McGyver husband got out a wrench and tried prying off the handle. I had children pleading for a bathroom and hovering over the fix-it man.
I remembered and quoted Sis. Beck's counsel she had learned from her father.
"If we're going to laugh about it in 20 years, we may as well laught at it right now."
It seemed to alleviate the tension and worry and put a few smiles on faces.
After a good fifteen minutes of prying and twisting, our six year old shouted out, "Why don't we have a prayer?"
So, we all piled in the van and dad prayed while we all exerted faith.
I hopped out of the van and wiggled the handle again. Still no movement on the lock. By this time, we determined the lock was broken. As I wiggled the handle again, I remembered movies where someone would use a credit card to unlock a door.
I tried a plastic card in the door...wiggled...and whah la! It opened.
As soon as the door swung open, it was as if light had jumped into each of us. All the children shouted to say how Heavenly Father answered our prayers.
We all went inside the house, happier than we ever had before going in. Happy children. Happy parents. Our eight year old, gleaming now, so happy to be INSIDE the house, asked if we had remembered to thank Heavenly Father for all the other MIRACLES he had given us.
Listing them off, they named all the times since coming here that Heavenly Father had delivered us from sickness, car troubles, back troubles, etc. They named off one experience after another. Each of them with something different.
Husband and I looked at each other. We could SEE the Lord's hand today. The children could SEE His hand and miracles today and all the yesterday's. We thanked Heavenly Father as a family.
Faith has been strengthened yet again.
"In the strength of the Lord, we can do hard things." Sis. Elaine Dalton
Friday, March 19, 2010
A Good Read
Mmm. I love books that make me feel cozy. Books that help me reflect on the important things in life. Books that give me perspective on others and that encourage me to live more like Jesus. And if the story is true, that's just a plus to the reading.
So a book that fits all these nooks of comfort reading: Mitch Albom's, "Have a Little Faith".
So a book that fits all these nooks of comfort reading: Mitch Albom's, "Have a Little Faith".
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Good People Everywhere
So, we're in transition.
My husband has applied all over, and we know where we'd like to land.
In the mean time, we are down sizing the stuff we have. Through this experience we have met some really good people. The last couple of visits to pick up some things was from a Minister and his son and almost daughter-in-law. I am touched by his love for people. It made me think of the scripture in Mosiah.
Mosiah 2: 12, 16-17, 19
12 I say unto you that as I have been suffered to spend my days in your service, even up to this time, and have not sought gold nor silver nor any manner of riches of you;
• • •
16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.
17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
• • •
19 And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!
Anyway, watching the good deeds of others and feeling the desire to serve God is such a sweet experience. I hope to meet many people like this in my lifetime.
So thankful Heavenly Father has sent us here to Texas to meet so many lovely people.
My husband has applied all over, and we know where we'd like to land.
In the mean time, we are down sizing the stuff we have. Through this experience we have met some really good people. The last couple of visits to pick up some things was from a Minister and his son and almost daughter-in-law. I am touched by his love for people. It made me think of the scripture in Mosiah.
Mosiah 2: 12, 16-17, 19
12 I say unto you that as I have been suffered to spend my days in your service, even up to this time, and have not sought gold nor silver nor any manner of riches of you;
• • •
16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.
17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
• • •
19 And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!
Anyway, watching the good deeds of others and feeling the desire to serve God is such a sweet experience. I hope to meet many people like this in my lifetime.
So thankful Heavenly Father has sent us here to Texas to meet so many lovely people.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
A currant bush
(Taken from Hugh B. Brown, “The Currant Bush,” New Era, Apr. 2001, 12
See also his talk: "God is the Gardener")
Hugh B. Brown (1883-1975), First Presidency
You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what He ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than He does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that He knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and clipped it back until there was nothing left but stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it and smiled and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush say this:
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. The one man between me and the office of general in the British Army became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner.
I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the general, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for 10 years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and on his desk, I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly, and went out.
I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure.” When I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have Mutual. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their singing:
“But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.”
(Hymns, no. 270)
I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to Him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.
Many of you are going to have very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, God is the gardener here. He knows what He wants you to be. Submit yourselves to His will. Be worthy of His blessings, and you will get His blessings.
See also his talk: "God is the Gardener")
Hugh B. Brown (1883-1975), First Presidency
You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what He ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than He does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that He knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and clipped it back until there was nothing left but stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it and smiled and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush say this:
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. The one man between me and the office of general in the British Army became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner.
I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the general, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for 10 years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and on his desk, I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly, and went out.
I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure.” When I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have Mutual. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their singing:
“But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.”
(Hymns, no. 270)
I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to Him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.
Many of you are going to have very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, God is the gardener here. He knows what He wants you to be. Submit yourselves to His will. Be worthy of His blessings, and you will get His blessings.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Friends
I connected with dear friend yesterday. Ah. Isn't Heavenly Father so kind.
Many dear and lasting friendships have come through serving in the Church. Somehow, I feel like my heart meshes with the people I serve...our hearts becoming one.
And so when the callings ends, my heart is still close to those I've served and served with...and reconnecting just happens so naturally as if time has not lapsed.
Isn't Heavenly Father so kind to let us serve in His church? Mmmm. Gives me new perspective on one heart and one mind.
Many dear and lasting friendships have come through serving in the Church. Somehow, I feel like my heart meshes with the people I serve...our hearts becoming one.
And so when the callings ends, my heart is still close to those I've served and served with...and reconnecting just happens so naturally as if time has not lapsed.
Isn't Heavenly Father so kind to let us serve in His church? Mmmm. Gives me new perspective on one heart and one mind.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Promises
This morning, I'm doing dishes and listening to Book of Mormon on CD.
I heard this verse:
1 Ne. 9: 6
6 But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.
WOW! Now that is POWER!
I heard this verse:
1 Ne. 9: 6
6 But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.
WOW! Now that is POWER!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Bishop's Counsel
I was reading some counsel I had received some years ago from a good Bishop. He counseled me in a blessing not to demand perfection of life, of myself and of others.
I have been pondering on that throughout the day. Wondering why I am slow in learning these things. Moving has brought a change of thought, heart and spirit. I feel like I am more maleable.
I am just learning how to apply this principle.
The fear of "appearances" is starting to slough off.
My love for Heavenly Father has grown and I know Him and trust Him. I am trying to listen to Him better. And follow Him quicker.
So, while I feel sad that I have taken what seems a lifetime to listen and heed this counsel, I am on the road to repair and new living.
I have been pondering on that throughout the day. Wondering why I am slow in learning these things. Moving has brought a change of thought, heart and spirit. I feel like I am more maleable.
I am just learning how to apply this principle.
The fear of "appearances" is starting to slough off.
My love for Heavenly Father has grown and I know Him and trust Him. I am trying to listen to Him better. And follow Him quicker.
So, while I feel sad that I have taken what seems a lifetime to listen and heed this counsel, I am on the road to repair and new living.
Choice and Agency
Wow!!!
I love how the Spirit can help me learn things in a way so I don't feel offended. Even if I start off feeling offended.
I learned a very, very valuable lesson today about choice and agency and Heavenly Father's patience with us and the need for me...yes ME...to be patient.
I have...much too often...taken offense where offense should NEVER have been taken. And, too often, I've taken things personally whether or not they were meant to be handed out so.
I heard not very long ago, from a wise person, "The only thing you should take personally is the Atonement of Jesus Christ."
Okay, so, my aha!!
In this, life I will be faced with situations where choices affect life...for good or bad, to bless or hinder. I know this sounds black and white...bear with me. I am just learning this principle (Wow! The learning curve at 40 is AMAZING!).
So, knowing this, and knowing that this life is a time of proving, a time of choosing.
I think of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and their choice to take the fruit of good and evil...well, it affected all of us. And here we are. There are many who are taught only a small portion of this principle, that the fall separated us from God...forever. But the missing meat, the missing truth and bulk of this is that Heavenly Father prepared a way back. His son, Jesus Christ. And if we have faith in Him, to repentance, we make covenants that will help us return back to His presence.
Okay, so, today, while I was thinking of choices of others and the gift of agency...Isn't it amazing that Heavenly Father lets us have this very precious gift. Wow!...the Spirit whispered to my spirit that in this life, I will make choices and others will make choices that will have a happy or sad or mean or kind effect on myself and/or others.
When this happens, I don't need to be offended. Because, we are all learning how to use agency. And if the choice that was made was one that caused distress, well, I can forgive this because this life is about learning how to make good choices.
And being 40 and just starting to learn this principle has greater reason for me to be more forgiving and understanding.
A special thank you to all of you who have been patient in my learning. It has been a long time coming to learn this principle!
I love how the Spirit can help me learn things in a way so I don't feel offended. Even if I start off feeling offended.
I learned a very, very valuable lesson today about choice and agency and Heavenly Father's patience with us and the need for me...yes ME...to be patient.
I have...much too often...taken offense where offense should NEVER have been taken. And, too often, I've taken things personally whether or not they were meant to be handed out so.
I heard not very long ago, from a wise person, "The only thing you should take personally is the Atonement of Jesus Christ."
Okay, so, my aha!!
In this, life I will be faced with situations where choices affect life...for good or bad, to bless or hinder. I know this sounds black and white...bear with me. I am just learning this principle (Wow! The learning curve at 40 is AMAZING!).
So, knowing this, and knowing that this life is a time of proving, a time of choosing.
I think of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and their choice to take the fruit of good and evil...well, it affected all of us. And here we are. There are many who are taught only a small portion of this principle, that the fall separated us from God...forever. But the missing meat, the missing truth and bulk of this is that Heavenly Father prepared a way back. His son, Jesus Christ. And if we have faith in Him, to repentance, we make covenants that will help us return back to His presence.
Okay, so, today, while I was thinking of choices of others and the gift of agency...Isn't it amazing that Heavenly Father lets us have this very precious gift. Wow!...the Spirit whispered to my spirit that in this life, I will make choices and others will make choices that will have a happy or sad or mean or kind effect on myself and/or others.
When this happens, I don't need to be offended. Because, we are all learning how to use agency. And if the choice that was made was one that caused distress, well, I can forgive this because this life is about learning how to make good choices.
And being 40 and just starting to learn this principle has greater reason for me to be more forgiving and understanding.
A special thank you to all of you who have been patient in my learning. It has been a long time coming to learn this principle!
Update on the little heart
I took my six year old in for a follow up.
She is sounding great!
Looks like we're almost in the clear!
One more visit next month to be sure.
Thank you again for your prayers and love
She is sounding great!
Looks like we're almost in the clear!
One more visit next month to be sure.
Thank you again for your prayers and love
Friday, March 5, 2010
Temple Trip
A couple of days ago, a sister in our ward invited me to go to the temple with her.
I missed last month. It was a month of sick. Gratefully my husband was able to go...and well, I counted that for me...even though technically I didn't go;).
I've missed church the past 2-3 weeks with sick kids, and well, frankly, I am missing that boost that comes from attending church and temple.
So, pushing nausea aside, I woke up EARLY...7 am...and showered. I ate breakfast...EARLY hit. Nausea continued...I normally don't end up attending the temple until the middle of the second trimester or even into the 3rd trimester because the nausea is soooo great. But with a prayer in my heart and feeling that me and my family needed this temple trip, I got ready. I called the sister to let her know I would go...and we went.
So, this is what I have to say about going to the temple.
I didn't know how much stress I was carrying until after attending the temple. I felt soooo light. So peaceful. So content. I love the temple.
I recognize Heavenly Father knows my heart. I wanted to go. And he helped me attend a full session without being sick. And, to boot, I got to visit with this sister who drove and what a wonderful person she is!
I missed last month. It was a month of sick. Gratefully my husband was able to go...and well, I counted that for me...even though technically I didn't go;).
I've missed church the past 2-3 weeks with sick kids, and well, frankly, I am missing that boost that comes from attending church and temple.
So, pushing nausea aside, I woke up EARLY...7 am...and showered. I ate breakfast...EARLY hit. Nausea continued...I normally don't end up attending the temple until the middle of the second trimester or even into the 3rd trimester because the nausea is soooo great. But with a prayer in my heart and feeling that me and my family needed this temple trip, I got ready. I called the sister to let her know I would go...and we went.
So, this is what I have to say about going to the temple.
I didn't know how much stress I was carrying until after attending the temple. I felt soooo light. So peaceful. So content. I love the temple.
I recognize Heavenly Father knows my heart. I wanted to go. And he helped me attend a full session without being sick. And, to boot, I got to visit with this sister who drove and what a wonderful person she is!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
40
Wow! Am I really here? Did I really hit this pinacle of age...okay, it is really not old, just a mile marker.
As a girl, I pictured me as 40 and together, you know...with-it, well mannered children, bliss at home...all the time, joy and calm.
Well, the reality is not like that pretty perfect picture. I am still trying to get with-it, I am expecting baby number 5, we are all learning patience... sometimes we get it...and sometimes we don't. As for calm and well mannered, it is nice when this happens especially in public places...but that is occasional.
So, life is not what I painted as a girl, but it is what it is.
I guess this is where the line, "Come what may and love it" comes in very handy!
As a girl, I pictured me as 40 and together, you know...with-it, well mannered children, bliss at home...all the time, joy and calm.
Well, the reality is not like that pretty perfect picture. I am still trying to get with-it, I am expecting baby number 5, we are all learning patience... sometimes we get it...and sometimes we don't. As for calm and well mannered, it is nice when this happens especially in public places...but that is occasional.
So, life is not what I painted as a girl, but it is what it is.
I guess this is where the line, "Come what may and love it" comes in very handy!
Final thoughts before I shut off the computer and climb back into bed
So much has happened over the past days, they mesh together and I realize that the Lord has done so much to provide a way for us. Some tender mercies of the Lord:
Healing.
My husband's back that was soooo out after sleeping on the hospital bed is doing very well.
Lessons about Heavenly Father's love for me
His son
my daughter
and understanding experiences and pain.
Warm meals.
Kind words and phone calls.
Prayers and fasts.
Family together.
Priesthood blessings for sick baby and a troubled hearted mom.
Comfort from the Holy Ghost.
Friends.
Book of Mormon.
Whispers of "I love you" from my children.
Rest.
"MEE Speaks"
Healing.
My husband's back that was soooo out after sleeping on the hospital bed is doing very well.
Lessons about Heavenly Father's love for me
His son
my daughter
and understanding experiences and pain.
Warm meals.
Kind words and phone calls.
Prayers and fasts.
Family together.
Priesthood blessings for sick baby and a troubled hearted mom.
Comfort from the Holy Ghost.
Friends.
Book of Mormon.
Whispers of "I love you" from my children.
Rest.
"MEE Speaks"
Yes, yet another post...on Pizza
So, I got a call from a dear friend in Washington on Tuesday asking about our Kawasaki girl. She has had experience in the heart arena as she has a child who was born with heart problems. And she had been in and out of hospitals many times.
She asked my address and said, "I'm sending pizza. There's nothing like coming home from the hospital to a warm meal."
I remembered thinking, "You can do that from states away?"
Ah the power of technology.
Thank you friend for dinner and a cold breakfast pizza!
And that same night, two other ward families brought dinner. We've been well fed :).
Thank you!!!
She asked my address and said, "I'm sending pizza. There's nothing like coming home from the hospital to a warm meal."
I remembered thinking, "You can do that from states away?"
Ah the power of technology.
Thank you friend for dinner and a cold breakfast pizza!
And that same night, two other ward families brought dinner. We've been well fed :).
Thank you!!!
Asprin Therapy
Another morning!! Yay!
So, I woke up to give asprin to our six year old. The 4am dosing is so much better than the 10 pm when she has just dozed off into a nice rest.
Last night, when I woke her to give her her asprins, she was not fully awake. I would give her a pill and then a drink of water and then repeated this till she was finished with her full dose. When she was finished, she lay down, and pulled the covers over her head and just shook. She was only half awake. She thought she was still in the hospital and was afraid of getting another shot. I coaxed her to look and see that it was just mom and that she was in our bed. Convinced, she snuggled up next to me, but she couldn't stay sleeping. She'd start to doze and then wake up with wide eyes and look around the room. She finally did wake up and go potty, which seemed to help, a lot!
She takes 6 children's asprin every six hours. It seems like an awful lot. But, I understand this is to take down the inflammation in her tissues. Saturday, We'll start one asprin a day until the doctor directs otherwise. This is to keep the blood thinned enough for the heart. She has another echo in a week and to check her heart again and then a final echo in April. Everything so far is going well.
So, I woke up to give asprin to our six year old. The 4am dosing is so much better than the 10 pm when she has just dozed off into a nice rest.
Last night, when I woke her to give her her asprins, she was not fully awake. I would give her a pill and then a drink of water and then repeated this till she was finished with her full dose. When she was finished, she lay down, and pulled the covers over her head and just shook. She was only half awake. She thought she was still in the hospital and was afraid of getting another shot. I coaxed her to look and see that it was just mom and that she was in our bed. Convinced, she snuggled up next to me, but she couldn't stay sleeping. She'd start to doze and then wake up with wide eyes and look around the room. She finally did wake up and go potty, which seemed to help, a lot!
She takes 6 children's asprin every six hours. It seems like an awful lot. But, I understand this is to take down the inflammation in her tissues. Saturday, We'll start one asprin a day until the doctor directs otherwise. This is to keep the blood thinned enough for the heart. She has another echo in a week and to check her heart again and then a final echo in April. Everything so far is going well.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The past 10 days have been rather full of caring for my six year old.
I think I had talked about her in a previous post.
After a couple of visits to different doctors, we finally got a correct diagnosis.
Kawasaki Disease.
Looking back, I see the Lord's hand through this whole series of events.
A week and a half ago, I took her into a clinic and they treated for strept throat. I knew this was not the correct diagnosis. One side of her neck was so very swollen. It hurt to turn her head. Her fever was climbing. I wondered where I could go to get a diagnosis that made sense. I prayed for help. I knew Heavenly Father would answer. I am her mom and he would lead me. But in this time of distress, I needed peace to hear. My dear husband has been a great comfort through this experience. He gave our daughter many blessing through the week. He reassured me of those truths when I felt unsure of what to do or where to turn for correct treatment.
After a two days treating for strept (hoping that if this were a bacterial infection of sorts, it would take care of this sickness), her fever peaked. I didn't take her actual temperature, but touching her skin felt to burn my hand. She was so very hot. She just wanted to sleep. And in these moments when I would naturally panic, the Spirit whispered what to do and led me and guided me how to take care of her without the panic. I ran a nice warm bath for her and put her in. She shivered and cried having to wake up and bathe. Yet I knew that this would help her. Is I rubbed her little legs and then her back, I could feel the water heat around her little torso. She was such a trooper. After her soak, we took her out, dried her off and dressed her. Her fever had really gone down. I took her temperature (under the arm) and it read 103.4. My husband gave her some medicine to take the fever down and I continued with compresses through the night. Eventually the fever did go down and stayed down till morning.
Morning came and more fevers. Her appetite was so small. She slept most of the days. Her little eyes were very blood shot, her lips puffy, red, and cracked, and the soles of her feet so red.
By Thursday evening when the fevers began again, we decided to take her in for another evaluation. This time a differnt clinic, the doctor on call gave us the heads up of Kawasaki Disease. He instructed if the fever continued 2 more days it was imperative she go to ER at Cook's Children's Hospital.
Friday morning, we looked up Kawasaki and saw a picture of little child that resembeled our little 6 year old. I was so grateful that the Spirit could lead us to the right doctor.
Saturday, the fevers started in the morning. We took her in later that afternoon and by Sunday, the diagnosis was confirmed and they started treatment.
Through this whole experience, I am comforted to know that the Lord has been mindful of us and this situation. For our six year old, she was given strength to do hard things. We talked about our family motto, "In the Strength of the Lord, we can do Hard things." And when she felt scared because of needles or nose suction, we would pray together and then she would do the hard part of holding still and let procedures be done. The nurses who helped encouraged her that the the words of the family motto would help her. And He would help her.
Our family has learned a greater appreciation for each other, for life, for Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's love for us, of the power of prayer and Priesthood blessings. Our six year old will be home today. I am thankful for the guidance of the Spirit. I know that Heavenly Father watches out for all His children. Because He loves us all so much.
For those who have prayed for our family through this, thank you. We have felt the strength of the prayers and fasting and know it is through all your prayers that answers and help has come.
I think I had talked about her in a previous post.
After a couple of visits to different doctors, we finally got a correct diagnosis.
Kawasaki Disease.
Looking back, I see the Lord's hand through this whole series of events.
A week and a half ago, I took her into a clinic and they treated for strept throat. I knew this was not the correct diagnosis. One side of her neck was so very swollen. It hurt to turn her head. Her fever was climbing. I wondered where I could go to get a diagnosis that made sense. I prayed for help. I knew Heavenly Father would answer. I am her mom and he would lead me. But in this time of distress, I needed peace to hear. My dear husband has been a great comfort through this experience. He gave our daughter many blessing through the week. He reassured me of those truths when I felt unsure of what to do or where to turn for correct treatment.
After a two days treating for strept (hoping that if this were a bacterial infection of sorts, it would take care of this sickness), her fever peaked. I didn't take her actual temperature, but touching her skin felt to burn my hand. She was so very hot. She just wanted to sleep. And in these moments when I would naturally panic, the Spirit whispered what to do and led me and guided me how to take care of her without the panic. I ran a nice warm bath for her and put her in. She shivered and cried having to wake up and bathe. Yet I knew that this would help her. Is I rubbed her little legs and then her back, I could feel the water heat around her little torso. She was such a trooper. After her soak, we took her out, dried her off and dressed her. Her fever had really gone down. I took her temperature (under the arm) and it read 103.4. My husband gave her some medicine to take the fever down and I continued with compresses through the night. Eventually the fever did go down and stayed down till morning.
Morning came and more fevers. Her appetite was so small. She slept most of the days. Her little eyes were very blood shot, her lips puffy, red, and cracked, and the soles of her feet so red.
By Thursday evening when the fevers began again, we decided to take her in for another evaluation. This time a differnt clinic, the doctor on call gave us the heads up of Kawasaki Disease. He instructed if the fever continued 2 more days it was imperative she go to ER at Cook's Children's Hospital.
Friday morning, we looked up Kawasaki and saw a picture of little child that resembeled our little 6 year old. I was so grateful that the Spirit could lead us to the right doctor.
Saturday, the fevers started in the morning. We took her in later that afternoon and by Sunday, the diagnosis was confirmed and they started treatment.
Through this whole experience, I am comforted to know that the Lord has been mindful of us and this situation. For our six year old, she was given strength to do hard things. We talked about our family motto, "In the Strength of the Lord, we can do Hard things." And when she felt scared because of needles or nose suction, we would pray together and then she would do the hard part of holding still and let procedures be done. The nurses who helped encouraged her that the the words of the family motto would help her. And He would help her.
Our family has learned a greater appreciation for each other, for life, for Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's love for us, of the power of prayer and Priesthood blessings. Our six year old will be home today. I am thankful for the guidance of the Spirit. I know that Heavenly Father watches out for all His children. Because He loves us all so much.
For those who have prayed for our family through this, thank you. We have felt the strength of the prayers and fasting and know it is through all your prayers that answers and help has come.
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