Safe Harbor

Today's walk to school for our children stirred a lot of emotions.

Perhaps it's the arrival of our new little addition, Ellie Marie.

Perhaps it's broken hours of sleep.

Perhaps it's hormones adjusting.

Perhaps it's more...

Perhaps...it's knowing that my children...that I have to trust the Lord.

Perhaps in letting go...I am learning to trust Him. Hoping they will follow Him.

I wondered, if when we come here to earth, if Heavenly Father has that longing for each child.

For a safe return.

And yet, He knows the end from the beginning.

He knows US...because He is our Father.

He knows our hearts.

And so, how WISE to send us to families.  With instructions!

I thought how families are a safe harbor for children...for each family member from the "storms of the adversary".

I am thankful for The Family: A Proclamation to the World. I see...I feel Heavenly Father's love for me and my family in it's words. I am comforted in His promises of a happy life with my family...because his promises are sure.

New LDS Website

The New LDS Website is wonderful!!!!

(click here)

I went online to see their scripture section.

FANTASTIC!!!!

You can highlight, write notes on what you've read and then file them in your own study book. It also allows you to share with others.

Take a look and see!!!

Thankful Thursday #2

A bunch of things that happened today that I'm thankful for:

Family scripture study this morning with happy, sleepy kids.

Walking to school with the kiddies.

A surprise walker joining us on the walk...my DH :).

Sunflowers from my youngest picked on the way to school.

A happy day to go to class without tears...for my 1st grader...for the 1st time since school started.

Walking home with DH and baby. We love walks together!!! 

Nap time and Nemo with baby.

Personal scripture study...earlier today rather than when my eyelids are wanting to sleep :).

Welcoming the children home from school.

Able to make a nice dinner for the family.

Hearing my children laugh and play.

Helping them do their homework.

Family prayer.

Hugs and kisses.

Bedtime...ahhhh.

Goodnight!

White lines on a cross walk

I was walking with one of my children today.

An apology walk (as prompted by the Spirit...because I wanted to drive her).

The kind of walk that where we talked along the way before the apology...and then talked again after the apology to say in so many words, "You're doing okay. I love you."

Well, on the way, we crossed a street with 3 painted cross walk lines.

The two main lines were painted very distinctly. But, there was a third partial line, partially painted and partially worn to the outside of the lines. Looked like an "oops" line.

And the following conversation ensued:

Daughter-  Mom, I'm different than other people. I feel like that line right there (pointing to the partially painted partially worn line).  And it feels like everyone else is the perfect line (pointing to the white disctinct line).

Me- Really? You know, you may feel like that, but really, we are all like that line you think you are most like.

Daughter- Really?

Me- Yup. It may look like everyone else is "perfect" but none of us is. We all make mistakes.

Daughter- And those nice white lines are like Heavenly Father and Jesus?

Me- Yup!

Daughter- Because they ARE perfect.

And after the apologies happened, and we walked through the crosswalk lines again, the conversation continued.

Daughter- I feel terrible.

Me- Why?

Daughter- Because I always make mistakes.

Me- Honey, we all make mistakes. That's why there is a BIG word that can help us.

Daughter- Repentance?

Me- Yup. That's the word. We're like these crosswalk lines. There are times when we we are painted bright because we repent...but then we make mistakes and the lines look faded. That's why we have Jesus Christ and repentance. Then we can be painted bright again.

Daughter- Really?

Me- Really.

And so, I'm thankful for the Spirit who knew she needed to talk about feeling inadequate, and for Jesus who can heal us and help us remember...we are inadequate...and that's why we have Him and His atonement. And that HE loves us and wants us to come to Him. And hopefully, a little bit of this conversation has been tucked in her heart. And she will Remember Him.

Joy in Becoming...Feeling God's love

Moses 1:39

"For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

A few days ago, my oldest daughter came home from school, overjoyed that they were offering orchestra classes.

"Oh, Mom, I was listeing to the High School orchestra (they visited her school), and well it didn't take the breath out of me like listening to the bagpipes...but almost! It was so beautiful! I've decided, I'd like to play in the school orchestra. Please?! And I know what  I'd like to play...the violin."

I've been waiting and watching...
wanting to know what makes her heart sing...
what talents she wants to develop...
what her interests are (besides art and reading).

And so when she came home, filled with this desire to want to create beautiful music, and watching her reaction to what she heard and her hope to develop talents filled my heart with soooo much joy. 

My feelings of wanting to help her become everything wonderful Heavenly Father KNOWS she can become filled my heart. And I want to giver her every chance to develop this gift.

I felt like this little part of JOY I felt watching her reach to and want to develop something beautiful inside of her is just a piece of what Heavenly Father feels for me when I discover the gifts He has given me and love them and develop them.  And He let me feel it...He gave me a taste of His love for me...for her...for all of us.

Irritation Management

Ether 12:27- And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. 

Last night, DH and I went to the temple. It is always such a good thing to go. It helps me regain perspective, direction, peace and empathy/understanding.

So, what I discovered after a night at the temple is that I need to chill.

Too often, I get mental over little things...things that don't matter. I have blamed these mental moments on being too tired (which I am sure can have an affect on perspective), I have blamed it on "if only they would listen", or "if they'd try understanding my point of view", and I have blamed it on "they just don't understand!"

Anyway, after pondering "peace and contentment" this past month and wanting to know how to hold onto it when it comes. And after a good long time of trying to figure out how to get it back once it comes and goes, and hold onto it, I think I caught a little glimpse of how to achieve it.

Ouch! Good ouch! But ouch all the same.

So here are the thing I've discovered.

If I want to be happy, it is not by controlling others or situations. I find happiness when I respect my and other's agency.

Demanding others does not bring peace! To me or them. Just irritation and contention (I know...these are no brainers...but I am just learning these in my heart and hoping to get them to stick firm into memory).

Before I get in a rut of demands, when I think I am not happy because things are not going my way, I need to step back and say nothing. But silently, pray for eyes to see and ears to hear and a mouth to be quiet. And then act (PATIENCE).

I am discovering that happiness can be mine...not based on decisions of others, but because I choose it over being irritated.

There are things in my heart that I understand but cannot put into words. The Spirit speaks to me so.

Anyway, Heavenly Father is very patient with my learning curve. He knows I can overcome these things I do that set me back. He doesn't give up on me. He continues to teach me and trust that I'll follow Him. Thankful for His perfect plan and for His Son, Jesus Christ and His perfect atonement. One day, with a lot of prayer, and work, and help from Them, I'll have this mastered.

Thankful Thursday #1

There are days that are full of wonderful ideas for posting. Family events, or non-events, quips from the kiddies, thoughts about things I am learning, conversations with people that impacted me or a loved one, my feelings about the gospel of Jesus Christ, and well, the list could go on.  There are countless things to post about.

Anyway, I was thinking about something President Thomas S. Monson said this past conference: 

"I have chosen simply to say to you at this moment just two words, known as the two most important words in the English language...those words are 'Thank you'."

So, hoping to simplify posts and do something that has consistency, and thinking of all the things I can post, I have chosen Thursdays as  Thankful Thursday posts.

Hope you enjoy the posts as much I am enjoying writing them. I'd love to hear about your Thankful Thursdays .

Here's post #1

Thank you, Dad, for Saturday night shoe polishing.

Every Saturday night, my dad would maticulously clean and polish his Sunday shoes.

I counted myself lucky when I could sit beside him and watch him. It was somekind of father daughter bonding moment for me.

On those nights, he would walk me step by step on how to give the shoes a nice polish. I watched in amazement as his shoes would go from nice to VERY NICE. And sometimes, I'd run to my room and pull out my imitation leather shoes to be polished along side his. 

The nights I felt most fortunate, however, were the ones where he'd hand me the brush or cloth after the KIWI polish was ready to be buffed, and would let me give the shoes a buffing and final shine.

Today, while my DH was away, I pulled the can of black KIWI shoe polish off the shelf and polished his scuffed toed Sunday shoes to my hearts content (btw, they look FANTASTIC)! And all the while, I thought of polishing shoes with Dad.

Thank you, Dad, for those Saturday shoe polishing nights together. Those moments filled my little girl heart with a lot of confidence and certainty that you loved me.   

Deseret Industries, a two year old, and a prayer

So, while spending a day out with my two year old...we stopped at the Deseret Industries.

We go there to look for books...when we are not looking for them at the library. So, it was no surprise when we walked in and my two year old says, " I like the libary! Yea. I like the libary!"

And so, into the "libary" section we went. She pulled books off the shelf while I scoured for some books I hoped to find.

While looking for books on my list, I pulled a copy of the Book of Mormon. I handed it to my two year old and asked her if she would like to have her own copy.

She took it from my hands, squeezed the book close to her chest and smiled. And then, much to my surprise, she flipped open the book, looked at the pages and said a little prayer out loud, thanking Heavenly Father for her book. She was sincere and so happy to have her own copy of the Book of Mormon. So she said another one.

The prayer was so sincere and simple! A sweet reminder that I can thank Heavenly Father for EVERYTHING wherever I am.

Tests...

A late post before going to bed.

I had a great talk with my MIL today. We exchanged stories of trials that have made us stronger.

Listening to her experiences made me think that although we travel different paths, Heavenly Father wants us to come back...no matter how far off or on the path to Him we are. 

And because He wants us all to come back, He sent HIS SON, Jesus Christ to atone for us. To pave the way for us...To help us make it through this testing period.

Watching our children grow, I see that the tests start early...

When our youngest was born, I wondered what she felt, leaving a perfect home and coming here to earth where we, her family, are so imperfect.  We tried to create a place that was peaceful. And, yet, I wondered how her adjustment in the beginning to our home here was.

Today, I watched another daughter, my seven year old endure her own test of going to school. 

It was a HARD day for her.

The Spirit was so kind to teach me, as I talked with her about staying in school, that Jesus did what HE did...

even when HE really didn't want to...

because of that moment ... SHE felt alone...

and afraid...

and wanted to not follow through. 

He DID follow through so He could understand her in this moment of feeling scared and alone.

And HE could be there in a way that I cannot...to comfort and give peace...

And all this because He loves us that much.

Anyway, the tests don't end at seven.  

They keep going.  They are life long. 

I am very thankful for a loving perfect Heavenly Father who sent a loving perfect Son.

What happened when Laman and Lemuel came for a visit

This morning before leaving for church, we had family Book of Mormon time.  We read from 1 Nephi 4.

I think everytime I read this chapter, I am struck with how dense Laman and Lemuel think, behave, ARE.

After an angel comes and declares :

"Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands."

Laman and Lemuel show their absolute lack of faith in the Lord by responding:

"How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty; then why not us?"

And Nephi, being Nephi, says:

"Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands? Therefore let us go up..."

All the while going back to Jerusalem, these two older brothers murmur.

After reading this, I thought, "You've got to be kidding me! These two JUST SAW  and HEARD AN ANGEL!!! Can people really be this faithless?!"

So...skipping to Relief Society and today's lesson and MY LESSON about being faithless...and being faithful.

Our lesson was from the talk by Sis. Julie B Beck, "And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit".

She described sisters all over the world, facing similar and difficult challenges. She says about she has met in these visits:

"...I have felt that there has never been a greater need for increased faith and personal righteousness. There has never been a greater need for strong families and homes. There has never been more that could be done to help others who are in need."
   
Sister Beck points out that PERSONAL REVELATION is the answer to increasing faith, strengthening families, and providing relief. It is the answer to finding answers to our own questions and stand strong and immovable against incredible opposition and difficulty .

"The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life."

 

And this is how we get it:

• 
  
  Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness.
• 
  
  Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us.
• 
  
  Making and keeping temple covenants also adds spiritual strength and power to a woman’s life.
• 
  
  Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation.
• 
  
  Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day.
• 
  
  Daily prayer is also essential to having the Lord’s Spirit with us.
• 
  
  Those who earnestly seek help through prayer and scripture study often have a paper and pencil nearby to write questions and record impressions and ideas.

So, as I sat there in Relief Society, reading and listening to the teacher, I started pondering over what I need to do to receive personal revelation.

In my mind, Laman and Lemuel popped in for a visit. True story!

And this is what they had to offer for advise.

"But my mind is too cluttered and unfocused to really study. I can't do it. Not planned study anyway. I'd never finish or follow through. I'd quit before I started. 

I can't write what I think!  That's  too hard for me because I am too disorganized to write and understand my own thoughts.

This is too hard. I am too short focused to sit and follow this counsel."

I started to write these thoughts on this notepad I carried with me, for I was hoping for somekind of helpful inspiration today.

After thinking these words, I felt pretty much defeated.  The thoughts were self-defeating...and useless.

And then....

The thought came back to Nephi.

REMEMBER NEPHI'S WORDS TO HIS BROTHERS!
"let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth."

Thank you, Nephi for being FAITHFUL!!!

I felt a growing determination to be steadfast and immovable.

The Spirit taught me:

Pray with faith and then just DO IT!

Remember Nephi and his faithless brothers. BE LIKE NEPHI!

Do the things Sister Beck counseled to SEEK AND UNDERSTAND MY WILL...not to show others that you are doing the right things.

I pondered on the thought that I don't have to be deceived.

I NEED TO SEEK THE LORD so I don't believe the "murmuring voices of doubt and hardship to follow the Lord".
 
And then the Spirit gave me direction...specific direction I was hoping for and seeking.

The Spirit witnessed to me, that HE WILL HELP ME (and anyone for that matter) to DO what the Lord asks.
 
And I CAN DO WHAT THE LORD ASKS.  Because, His promises are sure!
 
Just like Nephi and his brothers who saw and heard an angel...
I can be like Nephi and reply:
 
"...let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth..."
 
My lesson on personal revelation, was personal revelation!

Preterm labor vs preterm contractions

Yes. Believe it or not there is a difference.

Preterm labor is something you want stopped because a baby will come soon (progressing before it's time).

Preterm contractions (I think this is false labor) is something you want stopped because it is just a lot of pain (lots of pain without any progress before it's time) that doesn't stop.

Not sure which I am having...at this point...
But I'm not willing to go in to be sent home with the latter.

Here's to waiting...

How do I help my Children? Revelation - II

How do I help my children?

Thinking about this last night, I realized that one of the most important things I can do is to steer their feet, their hearts and their minds to Jesus Christ. I need to Teach them to how to Listen to the Spirit and then Act according to what they have received.

Elder David A  Bednar suggested that teaching our children is more than just feeding them doctrine:
"As gospel learners, we should be “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22). ...Parents have the sacred responsibility to help children to act and to seek learning by faith. And a child is never too young to take part in this pattern of learning.
... As parents and gospel instructors, you and I are not in the business of distributing fish; rather, our work is to help our children learn “to fish” and to become spiritually steadfast. This vital objective is best accomplished as we encourage our children to act in accordance with correct principles—as we help them to learn by doing... Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception....
The spiritual understanding you and I have been blessed to receive, and which has been confirmed as true in our hearts, simply cannot be given to our children. The tuition of diligence and of learning by study and also by faith must be paid to obtain and personally “own” such knowledge. Only in this way can what is known in the mind also be felt in the heart. Only in this way can a child move beyond relying upon the spiritual knowledge and experiences of parents and adults and claim those blessings for himself or herself. Only in this way can our children be prepared spiritually for the challenges of mortality."

I also thought about Pres. Henry B Eyring's address given to the Priesthood in October 2009's conference (click here).


One final thought on this from Sister Matsumori about helping others recognize the spirit.
She gives some very helpful steps to move me in the place where I can effectively teach my children to recognize the spirit.

1st: Understand the Doctrine.
In order to do this, I need to know the doctrine so I understand the doctrine I am teaching. So, this begins with personal daily scripture study accompanied with prayer. Then I can teach correct doctrine

About teaching doctrine, she says: "The importance of helping others understand is described in the Doctrine and Covenants. Parents “in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized” are told to help their children “understand the doctrine.”

2nd: Share personal testimony.
Sister Matsumori taught, "We can help others become more familiar with the promptings of the Spirit when we share our testimony of the influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives."

3rd: Provide and envirionment where the spirit can be felt. How can we do this?
Her counsel is:
"One reason we are encouraged to pray and read the scriptures every single day is that both of these activities invite the Spirit into our homes and into the lives of our family members.


"Because the Spirit is often described as a still, small voice, it is also important to have a time of quiet in our lives as well. The Lord has counseled us to “be still, and know that I am God.” If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us."

So.

How do I help my children?

• Daily scripture study...family and personal.
• Daily personal prayers...as well as family prayers.
• Repent often so I can be worthy of the Spirit's influence.
• Listen and heed His promptings.
• Teach the doctrine, bear testimony, and provide a place where the Spirit can be felt.

How do I help my children? Personal Revelation!

Today, as I prayed for each of my children, I was confident that Heavenly Father would answer my prayers. I am relying on revelation!

After my children came home from school, I felt His guidance as we did homework together, He added patience so I could listen, and even when feelings were hurt when I was too quick to speak, He helped my ears to hear and a heart to feel in the "I'm Sorry"s and "I forgive you"s. And specifically, direct answers to questions that have been pondering in my heart came...when I needed them.

I have confidence in the promises:

"Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed. For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.

We are told to put our trust in that Spirit which leads us “to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously.” We are also told that this Spirit will enlighten our minds, fill our souls with joy, and help us know all things we should do. Promised personal revelation comes when we ask for it, prepare for it, and go forward in faith, trusting that it will be poured out upon us."

-Julie B Beck, Conference 2010