Starting early.
I have a lot of questions and feelings stirring in my mind and percolating in my heart and so I am up doing dishes while everyone sleeps.
It is quiet.
I have been thinking about this road we are on. It feels frightening to not know how it will all turn out..that is the fear side talking of course. Because the Faith side knows that Heavenly Father lets me learn through life's experiences. And really, I was reminded that He is aware of our little family and our situation. He is so, so mindful of us. He leads...and we are learning to follow.
Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we don't hear or follow very well. And well, I wonder which of the two is going on right now.
All in all, I feel that if we keep doing our best of following what He asks of us, it will all turn out well in the end.
That's all for now.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
New things!
So, baby is nearly...18 mos.
She went potty for the first time today!
A lot of older sibling encouragement, clapping from everyone, and hugs from mom and dad went a long way!
She went potty for the first time today!
A lot of older sibling encouragement, clapping from everyone, and hugs from mom and dad went a long way!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Relief Society Meeting...What a Blessing!
We had a Relief Society meeting tonight about Mosiah 4:19-27.
Elders Quorum president spoke to us about managing our earthly sterwardships, specifically in financial matters, but it applies with everything Heavenly Father has blessed us with.
We discussed living on a budget, teaching children eternal principles of sacrifice brings blessings - saving now for what we want later, and allowing the Lord to teach these principles to our hearts, so they can sink in and take root.
The Spirit confirmed these principles to be true.
Managing what Heavenly Father has given me is a BIG deal! But I know He will help me to progress in this thing, because I am His daughter, and He loves me, and wants me to be successful in this life. He knows I can and need to teach these principles to our children.
And He is so very patient as I learn.
Elders Quorum president spoke to us about managing our earthly sterwardships, specifically in financial matters, but it applies with everything Heavenly Father has blessed us with.
We discussed living on a budget, teaching children eternal principles of sacrifice brings blessings - saving now for what we want later, and allowing the Lord to teach these principles to our hearts, so they can sink in and take root.
The Spirit confirmed these principles to be true.
Managing what Heavenly Father has given me is a BIG deal! But I know He will help me to progress in this thing, because I am His daughter, and He loves me, and wants me to be successful in this life. He knows I can and need to teach these principles to our children.
And He is so very patient as I learn.
Book of Mormon Joys
This morning, I woke up late to children ready to read the Book of Mormon!
Yay!
The routine for beginning the morningis:
* wake up
* get ready...if I'm up that much earlier than my children
* wake up children
* meet together in the "front room"
* family prayer
* scriptures
So, this morning, having children up and gleefully ready for scriptures was a Joy!
Way to go!!
Yay!
The routine for beginning the morningis:
* wake up
* get ready...if I'm up that much earlier than my children
* wake up children
* meet together in the "front room"
* family prayer
* scriptures
So, this morning, having children up and gleefully ready for scriptures was a Joy!
Way to go!!
Who am I?
Many early mornings I wake-up, go from room to room and check the children, then go back to bed. Or try to. Sometimes it is easy to crawl back into bed and continue sleeping where I left off.
But other mornings, as I rest my head back on my pillow my mind will snap "AWAKE".
All sorts of thoughts begin swirling through my head. They scream anxieties about my own shortcomings. They try to bury what I know to be true.
I am a Child of God and He loves me.
Heavenly Father helps me feel his love by the sweet comfort of the Holy Ghost.
His love and hope fill me with a great desire to want to be more like Him.
His love reminds me of my Divine Nature. It reminds me that I am His daughter.
Elder Neil L Anderson's words are reassuring:
"The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God. It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments. Being disciples of Christ, we rejoice in the blessing of repenting and the joy of being forgiven. They become part of us, shaping the way we think and feel."
So, this morning, when I woke and these familiar anxieties rushed though me trying to dispell peace and claim hold of my mind and heart for the day, I prayed for help. And it came.
First through truths reminded me by my husband. That I am a child of God. And He always speaks with love. That the screaming feelings of self doubt, or failure or hopelessness are not His. That inside me, I know Heavenly Father loves me and take hold of that when these voices scream so loud.
And then I felt His love for me.
I know who I am. I am a daughter of God. He loves me, and will always love me. And even when I mistake in parenting and in callings and in life, His teaching is peaceful to me. It is healing and hopeful.
I am thankful that He hears and answers prayers.
But other mornings, as I rest my head back on my pillow my mind will snap "AWAKE".
All sorts of thoughts begin swirling through my head. They scream anxieties about my own shortcomings. They try to bury what I know to be true.
I am a Child of God and He loves me.
Heavenly Father helps me feel his love by the sweet comfort of the Holy Ghost.
His love and hope fill me with a great desire to want to be more like Him.
His love reminds me of my Divine Nature. It reminds me that I am His daughter.
Elder Neil L Anderson's words are reassuring:
"The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God. It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments. Being disciples of Christ, we rejoice in the blessing of repenting and the joy of being forgiven. They become part of us, shaping the way we think and feel."
So, this morning, when I woke and these familiar anxieties rushed though me trying to dispell peace and claim hold of my mind and heart for the day, I prayed for help. And it came.
First through truths reminded me by my husband. That I am a child of God. And He always speaks with love. That the screaming feelings of self doubt, or failure or hopelessness are not His. That inside me, I know Heavenly Father loves me and take hold of that when these voices scream so loud.
And then I felt His love for me.
I know who I am. I am a daughter of God. He loves me, and will always love me. And even when I mistake in parenting and in callings and in life, His teaching is peaceful to me. It is healing and hopeful.
I am thankful that He hears and answers prayers.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Missionary Moment
Sar and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner, watching "Finding Faith in Christ".
During this time, my friend, Linde, from a few houses down, stopped by to find out if we are moving or staying.
As we were talking, the impression of giving her a link to the video ran across my mind. In that second I wondered how I could do that. I hesitated...okay, I doubted I could do that.
She was telling me how God answered her prayers. And that we are all in His hands. That He is watching over me and my family (I know, perfect opportunity to have given that link to her).
Not a few minutes into conversation, Sar came in with the web link written on paper and handed it to Linde, explaining she would really love it.
Sometimes, the Lord will bypass the faithless to get His work done.
I hope I am quicker to follow the spirit next time. I am also VERY thankful for a quick to act daughter.
During this time, my friend, Linde, from a few houses down, stopped by to find out if we are moving or staying.
As we were talking, the impression of giving her a link to the video ran across my mind. In that second I wondered how I could do that. I hesitated...okay, I doubted I could do that.
She was telling me how God answered her prayers. And that we are all in His hands. That He is watching over me and my family (I know, perfect opportunity to have given that link to her).
Not a few minutes into conversation, Sar came in with the web link written on paper and handed it to Linde, explaining she would really love it.
Sometimes, the Lord will bypass the faithless to get His work done.
I hope I am quicker to follow the spirit next time. I am also VERY thankful for a quick to act daughter.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Malachi: the blessing of tithing
Malachi 3:8-12
"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In thithes and offerings.
"Yea are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven, and pour out a blessing that there shall not be room enouth to receive it.
"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.
"And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts."
Malachi 4:1-4
"For behold the dreadful day cometh,that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea and all that do wickedly, shall come as stubble:and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Lord of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.
"But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves in the stall.
"And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts.
"Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgements."
"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In thithes and offerings.
"Yea are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven, and pour out a blessing that there shall not be room enouth to receive it.
"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.
"And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts."
Malachi 4:1-4
"For behold the dreadful day cometh,that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea and all that do wickedly, shall come as stubble:and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Lord of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.
"But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves in the stall.
"And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts.
"Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgements."
Monday, January 11, 2010
Christ Love
At church yesterday I got to sub for Nu's CTR class. The lesson was about Choosing the Right and Following Jesus.
Just before we were excused to class, one of the mothers of the children in my class pulled me aside and told me how nervous her little girl was...new teacher and all.
I understand how this can affect the children in the class.
My own Hess and Nu get the jitters when they have teacher rotations in Primary.
So, with this bit of information, I went to class with resolve to show as much Christ love as I knew how.
And as the children were filing into class, the Spirit taught me how to love these little ones.
I followed as best I could to teach these little 6 year olds like 6 year olds.
And as I started, my ability to teach them with Christ love grew.
He helped me to give them what they wanted and hoped: to feel loved, accepted, heard, important. They taught me why Jesus loves little children sooo. They are perfect, trusting, loving, forgiving, and learning.
Today was carry over from a wonderful Sunday. I was more patient with my own children. Teaching to age came easier today. I listened more intently and tried to understand their hearts. And the Spirit encouraged me to comfort and console sad hearts, to encourage love with love when arguing began and to just love and enjoy the children. I was reminded that this is where the peace and real success comes rather than rushing about doing "needful" duties.
Christ love is filling. It is contagious. It is beautiful and the most wonderful thing one could ever have or wish for.
Just before we were excused to class, one of the mothers of the children in my class pulled me aside and told me how nervous her little girl was...new teacher and all.
I understand how this can affect the children in the class.
My own Hess and Nu get the jitters when they have teacher rotations in Primary.
So, with this bit of information, I went to class with resolve to show as much Christ love as I knew how.
And as the children were filing into class, the Spirit taught me how to love these little ones.
I followed as best I could to teach these little 6 year olds like 6 year olds.
And as I started, my ability to teach them with Christ love grew.
He helped me to give them what they wanted and hoped: to feel loved, accepted, heard, important. They taught me why Jesus loves little children sooo. They are perfect, trusting, loving, forgiving, and learning.
Today was carry over from a wonderful Sunday. I was more patient with my own children. Teaching to age came easier today. I listened more intently and tried to understand their hearts. And the Spirit encouraged me to comfort and console sad hearts, to encourage love with love when arguing began and to just love and enjoy the children. I was reminded that this is where the peace and real success comes rather than rushing about doing "needful" duties.
Christ love is filling. It is contagious. It is beautiful and the most wonderful thing one could ever have or wish for.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Day in a month
My brain was in full gear today. It felt WONDERFUL!
So, I used it to prepare for "down time"...which seems to be a lot of each month. I cleaned some things up and out, packed some uneccessaries, and spent quite a bit of time with the children.
It was Hess who prayed this morning, and asked that we would use our time well today. I feel like the Lord helped me to do better today than I did yesterday.
It has been a great day!
So, I used it to prepare for "down time"...which seems to be a lot of each month. I cleaned some things up and out, packed some uneccessaries, and spent quite a bit of time with the children.
It was Hess who prayed this morning, and asked that we would use our time well today. I feel like the Lord helped me to do better today than I did yesterday.
It has been a great day!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Book of Mormon - almost finished
I am Almost finished reading the Book of Mormon.
I had hoped to finish on Christmas...
But, nights got later and readings got shorter.
Christmas has come and gone, and I've been able to
get some good reading in.
I am in Helaman.
I hope to finish Sunday :).
We'll see how it goes.
I had hoped to finish on Christmas...
But, nights got later and readings got shorter.
Christmas has come and gone, and I've been able to
get some good reading in.
I am in Helaman.
I hope to finish Sunday :).
We'll see how it goes.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Get ready for Sunday
Saturday is a Special day
It's the day we get ready for Sunday!
Here's to a Sunday getting ready Saturday...
It's the day we get ready for Sunday!
Here's to a Sunday getting ready Saturday...
Friday, December 25, 2009
A white Texas Christmas
My children have been praying for snow on Christmas morning.
My oldest told me that that would be her Christmas wish...since we wouldn't be with "family" for the holidays.
Wednesday, it was a warm 75 degrees. Imagine the delight of children watching the temperature drop to 35 degrees...on a rainy Christmas Eve morning...
Will suggested they pray and ask for Snow...so, as we drove to Wal-Mart, they all bowed their heads and with absolute confidence prayed to Heavenly Father for snow.
I have no doubt what brought the day of snow...
Happy White Christmas from us to you!
My oldest told me that that would be her Christmas wish...since we wouldn't be with "family" for the holidays.
Wednesday, it was a warm 75 degrees. Imagine the delight of children watching the temperature drop to 35 degrees...on a rainy Christmas Eve morning...
Will suggested they pray and ask for Snow...so, as we drove to Wal-Mart, they all bowed their heads and with absolute confidence prayed to Heavenly Father for snow.
I have no doubt what brought the day of snow...
Happy White Christmas from us to you!
Gifts
About gifts.
My children. They Love gifts.
They have hoped for a Christmas like today. Snow, gifts, gifts and more gifts.
I have thought about their excitement and joy of receiving gifts. They were so excited, that they couldn't sleep till wee into the night because Santa would bring gifts for morning.
They love gifts, they love help. They ask for both...a lot.
I think somewhere down the string of years, I figured I was too Old to Want help, too Old to Need help, and to Old to Ask for help. I was too Old to enjoy gifts, too Grown to receive gifts, and too Big to want gifts.
And so these gifts that were given so lovingly, so generously, so anonymously without want of repayment, so as to bless our family...has helped me see His love for me. My need for Him.
It is my "Remember" lesson...to want His help and want His gifts. To accept help...and gifts...because it is His love going through another.
Merry Christmas!
My children. They Love gifts.
They have hoped for a Christmas like today. Snow, gifts, gifts and more gifts.
I have thought about their excitement and joy of receiving gifts. They were so excited, that they couldn't sleep till wee into the night because Santa would bring gifts for morning.
They love gifts, they love help. They ask for both...a lot.
I think somewhere down the string of years, I figured I was too Old to Want help, too Old to Need help, and to Old to Ask for help. I was too Old to enjoy gifts, too Grown to receive gifts, and too Big to want gifts.
And so these gifts that were given so lovingly, so generously, so anonymously without want of repayment, so as to bless our family...has helped me see His love for me. My need for Him.
It is my "Remember" lesson...to want His help and want His gifts. To accept help...and gifts...because it is His love going through another.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
A few winks before morning
The gifts are all out. And it is time to catch a few winks and a nod before the kids are up.
We anticipated a sweet, small Christmas.
Not so, this year.
Members in our ward have been watchful over our family. Tomorrow, eyes will light up with the wonderous gifts from many "Santas". These acts of kindness reflect hearts of Christ. Thank you ward family for all you have given.
We anticipated a sweet, small Christmas.
Not so, this year.
Members in our ward have been watchful over our family. Tomorrow, eyes will light up with the wonderous gifts from many "Santas". These acts of kindness reflect hearts of Christ. Thank you ward family for all you have given.
It's Christmas
So here in Texas, the wind blows harder and a bit colder. The air feels warmer before the gusts start. Yesterday was a balming 75 degrees. And today, it has dropped to 30-something degrees. Snow flurries are in the air. Our girls prayed for snow today...and it is coming down.
We've had a lot of "Heavenly Father is watching over us" experiences over the past few weeks...few months that I see now. I wonder why I was so slow to see His hand before. Perhaps being in a "dependent" place causes me to see His hand because I need Him.
Will is still without work...well...without work that provides income. He still applies for employment just about everyday. Our financial situation...from my perspective - which really is so narrow because Heavenly Father can see so much more than I can...looks bleak. And, yet I know, because I have felt so, that Heavenly Father is aware, mindful of our needs and situation.
So experiences 1 & 2:
1. On Tuesday, I used money we got back from a reimbursement check to take the girls to Christmas Shopping at Dollar Tree. Will and I had received an email earlier from our landlady inquiring if we were renewing our contract, and if so, we needed proof of income.
There is no income.
I was feeling very troubled about the current situation which is - we are here, states away from parents and siblings and "easy help". We are in a place where truly, our dependence on the Lord feels paramount. The Church has been helping us with food...and friendship...and callings. I would be lost without the Church. I would be lost without knowing that God speaks to us today.
Anyway, I was in the car with the children, despairing our situation. I bowed by head and offers a silent prayer to Heavenly Father asking for peace, for reassurance....My cell rang. It was Sis. Ballard. She had "something" to drop off for our family...not from her, but from another family who wanted to give us something for Christmas. I imagined packages for the children :). After bing in the store a few minutes, I called Will to let Him know about Sis. Ballard coming over.
Our conversation went something like this.
M- Hello?
W- Hello.
M- Hi Dear. I wanted to let you know that Sis. Ballard is on her way over to drop something off for the family.
W- Oh. She already came. And she brought a jar of money.
M- (GASP) Are you serious?
W- Yes. I think there's about $100.00 in here.
M- Oh, my goodness (and at this point, I started sobbing in the store).
W- I know. I can't believe it....
Anyway, I was overcome in that moment to know that the Lord is mindful of our needs and wants and situation.
Later that night, we had a secret Santa leave us gifts on the walk in front of our home.
And then even later, the peace came.
2. I woke at midnight. Anxious, unable to sleep. So, I did what I felt to. I opened my Book of Mormon.
I LOVE the Book of Mormon. It has brought me closer to Christ. It has whispered peace in the night. It has lifted my thoughts to Heavenly places.
So, on this night, I read and read and read...for 2 hours...uninterrupted. I read about Aaron and the conversion of the Lamanite King to when Alma, Ammon, Aaron, Omner, Amulek, Zeezrom, Shiblon and Corianton went to preach repentance to the Zoramites.
And after reading, peace came. I felt Heavenly Fathers kindness. His teaching me.
Heavenly Father wants me to be humble. To be maleable. To be submissive.
And I can choose to be so or not so.
And I choose now to be so. I make so many mistakes. But this is why Jesus is. Because we need Him...I need Him to help me back. In my quite times of praying, I feel His love so gently wrapping me, enfolding me. My eyes cannot stay dry...the tears, they just come. He is the miracle of Christmas.
I remembered that we are here in Texas because God wants us here and He will provide a way. His way.
We've had a lot of "Heavenly Father is watching over us" experiences over the past few weeks...few months that I see now. I wonder why I was so slow to see His hand before. Perhaps being in a "dependent" place causes me to see His hand because I need Him.
Will is still without work...well...without work that provides income. He still applies for employment just about everyday. Our financial situation...from my perspective - which really is so narrow because Heavenly Father can see so much more than I can...looks bleak. And, yet I know, because I have felt so, that Heavenly Father is aware, mindful of our needs and situation.
So experiences 1 & 2:
1. On Tuesday, I used money we got back from a reimbursement check to take the girls to Christmas Shopping at Dollar Tree. Will and I had received an email earlier from our landlady inquiring if we were renewing our contract, and if so, we needed proof of income.
There is no income.
I was feeling very troubled about the current situation which is - we are here, states away from parents and siblings and "easy help". We are in a place where truly, our dependence on the Lord feels paramount. The Church has been helping us with food...and friendship...and callings. I would be lost without the Church. I would be lost without knowing that God speaks to us today.
Anyway, I was in the car with the children, despairing our situation. I bowed by head and offers a silent prayer to Heavenly Father asking for peace, for reassurance....My cell rang. It was Sis. Ballard. She had "something" to drop off for our family...not from her, but from another family who wanted to give us something for Christmas. I imagined packages for the children :). After bing in the store a few minutes, I called Will to let Him know about Sis. Ballard coming over.
Our conversation went something like this.
M- Hello?
W- Hello.
M- Hi Dear. I wanted to let you know that Sis. Ballard is on her way over to drop something off for the family.
W- Oh. She already came. And she brought a jar of money.
M- (GASP) Are you serious?
W- Yes. I think there's about $100.00 in here.
M- Oh, my goodness (and at this point, I started sobbing in the store).
W- I know. I can't believe it....
Anyway, I was overcome in that moment to know that the Lord is mindful of our needs and wants and situation.
Later that night, we had a secret Santa leave us gifts on the walk in front of our home.
And then even later, the peace came.
2. I woke at midnight. Anxious, unable to sleep. So, I did what I felt to. I opened my Book of Mormon.
I LOVE the Book of Mormon. It has brought me closer to Christ. It has whispered peace in the night. It has lifted my thoughts to Heavenly places.
So, on this night, I read and read and read...for 2 hours...uninterrupted. I read about Aaron and the conversion of the Lamanite King to when Alma, Ammon, Aaron, Omner, Amulek, Zeezrom, Shiblon and Corianton went to preach repentance to the Zoramites.
And after reading, peace came. I felt Heavenly Fathers kindness. His teaching me.
Heavenly Father wants me to be humble. To be maleable. To be submissive.
And I can choose to be so or not so.
And I choose now to be so. I make so many mistakes. But this is why Jesus is. Because we need Him...I need Him to help me back. In my quite times of praying, I feel His love so gently wrapping me, enfolding me. My eyes cannot stay dry...the tears, they just come. He is the miracle of Christmas.
I remembered that we are here in Texas because God wants us here and He will provide a way. His way.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
I have felt so homesick for siblings, parents, dear friends, things that are familiar. Today, the pangs of family far away has ached deep inside of my heart.
I have been thinking a lot about being here and family states away...
which really isn't like countries away...
or heaven away...
I find I am on my knees more.
I seek for peace from Him and He comforts my sad, homesick heart.
And this is what I see...and thank for.
I am thankful for Jesus Christ.
He has lifted my heart when it has felt sad...
so sad to weep...
so sad that I thought it would crumble...
When I prayed,
He lifted me up,
to feel His love...
His Perfect love.
To keep moving...
To keep serving...
I have been thinking a lot about being here and family states away...
which really isn't like countries away...
or heaven away...
I find I am on my knees more.
I seek for peace from Him and He comforts my sad, homesick heart.
And this is what I see...and thank for.
I am thankful for Jesus Christ.
He has lifted my heart when it has felt sad...
so sad to weep...
so sad that I thought it would crumble...
When I prayed,
He lifted me up,
to feel His love...
His Perfect love.
To keep moving...
To keep serving...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Posting Again
I'm posting again. Names may be changed to protect the innocent...and not so innocent...tee hee.
Book of Mormon
I've just started reading the Book of Mormon again. My goal is to finish before Christmas. In the past few days I have gained a greater appreciation for Nephi, Jacob, Momon, Moroni and other prophets who wrote in the Book of Mormon. There is a sense of urgency to leave their testimonies of Jesus Christ. They each express an immense desire for this record to return to the house of Israel and testify that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world. My spirit swells as I read, knowing that The Book of Mormon is true. That Christ lives, He heals, He saves. I am thankful for the Book of Mormon.
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